Dear Beautiful Woman in line at Office Depot,
I envy your look.
You're so put together with out trying, I can tell.
You tell the customer service gent at the counter that you are so sick you can't function, and I cringe thinking, "how the HECK did you roll out of bed looking like that!?"
Maybe you caught my eye when the sun reflected off your three carat diamond bling, or was it that Gucci handbag that I caught in the corner of my eye?
Whatever it was, you're gorgeous.
(behind you creepily eyeing you up and down)